As the saying goes, “Some people create their own storms, and then get upset when it rains.” There are different versions of toxic people in this world. Just to name a few. There’s the Narcissists, Sociopaths, or even the passive folk, who never speak up or let you know where they stand. Energy Vampires, take the cake when it comes to manipulation games. We all know at least one vampire whether they sit in the cubicle next to you, or the person you wake up and cook eggs for every morning. If you find yourself feeling exhausted and overwhelmed just from the day to day interactions with this vamp, learning how to identify who and how the vampires operate will keep your blood from boiling and keeping your mind out of distress.
For one, Energy vampires love the drama! Constantly in the midst of the calamity, introducing their dramatic behavior to anyone who will eat it up. They want you to essentially fix and be invested in their issues,Do not give in to gossiping with this vamp, or (with anyone).
Because Energy vampires are often full of charisma, they may very much so slide out of trouble when problems appear because of this charm. They’re crafty & brilliant when it comes to pinning problems on someone else in most situations. Rarely will they accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. The blame is directed towards you and somehow you’re often left feeling the guilt. They often use ultimatums & guilt trips sending your mind on a spiral of confusion, Knowing these methods will sure fire get them what they want. They are aware that using shame as an extreme weapon to use on people who are compassionate and caring.
Likewise, feeding on good nature folks is an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do, your big heart will be sucked dry if you ignore the warning signs.
Energy vamps, will intimidate, criticize or bully you.
making you feel like you should put in work to receive their attention and approval.
Although they are usually very co-dependent without being fully aware of how much they rely on your presence. (Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.)
They exercise these relationships to keep their ego fed, mostly using the romantic ones, while continuing to spin and exploit a cycle of drama and emotional need.
It’s bad enough that the vamp will diminish your problems, but they do this to spotlight their own. So if you are already feeling upset or sad for whatever reason, The Vamp will somehow find a way to shift the discussion to focus on their problems, dwindling your energy supplies even quickly. The vamp will also seize the chance to one up you, constantly comparing and highlighting your flaws making you feel smaller than ever.Energy vampires will place their problems squarely on the backs of others around them. Taking no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties. Moving about as if their actions are justified and that they are a martyr with a purpose.
What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.
Common things a Energy Vamp will say:
- “Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
- “I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”
- “I won’t tell you this again and again.”
- “You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it.”
- “I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
- “You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”
- “If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”
nergy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.
Allowing this continuous drain on your resources can have serious effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.
It’s time to put up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.
Establish boundaries
you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.
Don’t agree to every invite to events or even coffee dates. Avoid extended events where they’ll be in attendance. If its at work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by keeping it short and professional.
You can start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.
Adjust your expectations, don’t use them for your own emotional release and keep your emotional valve sealed when they come to you for advice.
Don’t give in!
If the energy vampire calls, and is pestering you, trying to gain your attention
Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.
When they keep getting denied with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.
Guard your emotional capacity
Energy vampires read body language & nonverbal cues to know when they have someone wrapped around their finger. Your facial expression, the way you lean in, how you clasp your hands — an energy vampire can take these as signs of your investment.
Instead, offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can finally reserve your.
If all else fails, Cut them out completely.
In most cases, you have the freedom to exterminate this person from your life entirely. It could seem a bit dramatic, but remember that you’re protecting your neck.
